Nice Day for a White Wedding
by Raven Usher
I have been thinking about wedding dresses. I had a wedding once. I did not walk down an isle. I did not get to toss a bouquet. I did not get to wear a pretty white dress.
Michelle and I are coming up on our 15th anniversary. We have come to realize that neither of us are the same people we were when we got married in 1990. OK, so my changes are more readily apparent than hers but we have both changed. We have decided that it is time to update our marriage to match our updated lives.
In the spring of 2005 we are going to get married. Yes, I know. We are already married. But there is a fly in that ointment. Technically “Raven” has never participated in a wedding. The 1990 wedding had a different person all together standing at the altar. Now it is Raven’s turn. I finally get to wear my white dress.
The wedding dress symbolizes two qualities of the bride; purity and chastity. Purity is represented by the color white. That is why the bride wears a pure white dress. By walking down the isle in white, she is parading her purity before all the world.
Chastity is a whole other story. The bride’s chastity is not symbolized by the color white. Chastity is symbolized by the length of the bottom hem and the train of her dress. That does not apply just to wedding dresses, but to all dresses and skirts. The higher the hem, the looser the woman. No, you can not come over and count my mini skirts.
The height of the dress hem (this is ancient fashion doctrine) is an indicator to how far a woman intends to let her suitor advance in the process of amore`. If she shows her ankle, she is suggesting her calf. Showing the calf suggests the knee. Showing the knee suggests the thigh. And showing the thigh... well, then she is really making a suggestion.
This standard still exists today. You can test it by going to any singles bar. Take some lady friends who have a senses of humor with you. Tell them to flirt, tease and generally be “party girls.” Have one go wearing a skirt with a hem below the knee. Have the other wear a mini skirt that shows a good portion of thigh. Take close notice to how much attention each girl gets. The one wearing the mini skirt will get a great deal more.
That is the whole idea behind the hem and train of the wedding dress. A front hem that drags the floor so the bride has to either lift the dress or kick it out of her way as she walks shows that she is unobtainable to anyone other than the groom. (Or the other bride in our case.) If you have to show the ankle to suggest the calf, what kind of suggestion is she making when you can not even see her feet?
The long trailing train symbolizes her dedication to her chastity. The longer the train, the more chased the woman. Think about it. What woman in her right mind would let an expensive satin dress drag across the ground if it did not symbolize something very important? Something like... her own honor and virtue.
I have been shopping around and have found the dress I want. Before someone who knows me too well stands up and hollers, “Oh my God! She’s wearing a white dress!” No, the dress I have chosen is not pure white. It is a designer white dress with a number of colored accents on the corset and train. The dress has those colored accents for two reasons. I am so pale that no one would see me in a white dress without colored accents. And, I am too honest to wear a pure white wedding dress in good conscience.
I have white dresses. I have formal gowns. I have a marriage. What I do not have is the memory or mementos of wearing a formal white gown in a wedding ceremony. Having those may not make a real world difference in my life one way or another. But it makes a hell of a lot of difference to my heart.
Blessed Be.
by Raven Usher
I have been thinking about wedding dresses. I had a wedding once. I did not walk down an isle. I did not get to toss a bouquet. I did not get to wear a pretty white dress.
Michelle and I are coming up on our 15th anniversary. We have come to realize that neither of us are the same people we were when we got married in 1990. OK, so my changes are more readily apparent than hers but we have both changed. We have decided that it is time to update our marriage to match our updated lives.
In the spring of 2005 we are going to get married. Yes, I know. We are already married. But there is a fly in that ointment. Technically “Raven” has never participated in a wedding. The 1990 wedding had a different person all together standing at the altar. Now it is Raven’s turn. I finally get to wear my white dress.
The wedding dress symbolizes two qualities of the bride; purity and chastity. Purity is represented by the color white. That is why the bride wears a pure white dress. By walking down the isle in white, she is parading her purity before all the world.
Chastity is a whole other story. The bride’s chastity is not symbolized by the color white. Chastity is symbolized by the length of the bottom hem and the train of her dress. That does not apply just to wedding dresses, but to all dresses and skirts. The higher the hem, the looser the woman. No, you can not come over and count my mini skirts.
The height of the dress hem (this is ancient fashion doctrine) is an indicator to how far a woman intends to let her suitor advance in the process of amore`. If she shows her ankle, she is suggesting her calf. Showing the calf suggests the knee. Showing the knee suggests the thigh. And showing the thigh... well, then she is really making a suggestion.
This standard still exists today. You can test it by going to any singles bar. Take some lady friends who have a senses of humor with you. Tell them to flirt, tease and generally be “party girls.” Have one go wearing a skirt with a hem below the knee. Have the other wear a mini skirt that shows a good portion of thigh. Take close notice to how much attention each girl gets. The one wearing the mini skirt will get a great deal more.
That is the whole idea behind the hem and train of the wedding dress. A front hem that drags the floor so the bride has to either lift the dress or kick it out of her way as she walks shows that she is unobtainable to anyone other than the groom. (Or the other bride in our case.) If you have to show the ankle to suggest the calf, what kind of suggestion is she making when you can not even see her feet?
The long trailing train symbolizes her dedication to her chastity. The longer the train, the more chased the woman. Think about it. What woman in her right mind would let an expensive satin dress drag across the ground if it did not symbolize something very important? Something like... her own honor and virtue.
I have been shopping around and have found the dress I want. Before someone who knows me too well stands up and hollers, “Oh my God! She’s wearing a white dress!” No, the dress I have chosen is not pure white. It is a designer white dress with a number of colored accents on the corset and train. The dress has those colored accents for two reasons. I am so pale that no one would see me in a white dress without colored accents. And, I am too honest to wear a pure white wedding dress in good conscience.
I have white dresses. I have formal gowns. I have a marriage. What I do not have is the memory or mementos of wearing a formal white gown in a wedding ceremony. Having those may not make a real world difference in my life one way or another. But it makes a hell of a lot of difference to my heart.
Blessed Be.
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