Man I Feel Like a Woman
by: Raven Usher
Being female (biologically or engineered) and being feminine do not always go hand in hand. The gap between the Timberline boots and the stiletto heels can be a gapping chasm or a subtle bump in the road. Feeling female inside does not guarantee an outward presentation of femininity. Looking like a Angelina Jolie may not stop you from feeling like Joe Pesci or vice versa.
One of the reasons for the gap between “female” and “feminine” is that there are no hard and fast rules to being either one. You do not even have to be both. You can pick just one and run with it or you can try to balance the two. The internal self perception of them does not even have to match outward presentation. It can be quite the circus act.
Some women have a natural balance. They do not encounter anything that makes them question their femininity or the physical condition of being female. They are comfortable in their bodies and at peace with their own self image.
Some women, while thoroughly enjoying being female, have issues with the presentation of femininity that is expected of them. Some say the societal norms that demand women wear skirts, heels and make-up to “fit in” is unjust. They rail against these age-old stereotypes both in their manner of dress and in their refusal to conform to traditional personal and business roles that women were once pigeon-holed into.
On the other side of that coin are the women who want to become the Hollywood ideal of feminine expression. They subscribe to the more classical images of beauty and strive to achieve those benchmarks. They enjoy the pretty clothes, the variety of shoe styles and the artistry that can go into applying make-up.
The common denominator of these very contrasting women is idea that regardless of how they present the image of femininity, being female is the bomb. Should anyone be so unenlightened or ill-fated as to try using their femininity as an excuse to block them from their personal goals, he will not just have that one woman on his neck. He will be the target of a maelstrom of women that would make a swarm of bees seem warm and inviting.
Then there are those whose conflict is not with the presentation of femininity but with the physical being of the female form. Some view being female as a privilege they are denied. Others see it as a curse they cannot escape. These are the people who are on the front lines of the war of womanhood.
They have not achieved the right to equal pay in the workplace because they have not achieved the right to be themselves. They have not reached the hallmarks of admiration of their beauty because of the prejudices that call their very existence ugly. They do not have the right to marry because in some areas they do not even have the right to breath.
As long as I can remember I have felt feminine. As a child I was often accused by other kids of displaying a misplaced girlish appearance or mannerism. Even during the height of my presentation of masculinity as a U.S. Marine my internal pull to all things feminine retained a strong grip on my psyche.
My endeavor to acquire the “female” that matches and balances my “feminine” has been the saving grace of my life. It is a journey I still endure. I know that even when I reach my ultimate goal of having the physical female form I covet, it will be a mere shadow of the femininity that prevails in my heart. When my citizenship to the female world is finally granted, I will still be but an immigrant to the land of which I have always dreamed. There will always be a part of me that is a stranger. There will always be the ties to my origin.
I will revel in it all! No regrets. No sorrow. No apologies.
Blessed Be.
by: Raven Usher
Being female (biologically or engineered) and being feminine do not always go hand in hand. The gap between the Timberline boots and the stiletto heels can be a gapping chasm or a subtle bump in the road. Feeling female inside does not guarantee an outward presentation of femininity. Looking like a Angelina Jolie may not stop you from feeling like Joe Pesci or vice versa.
One of the reasons for the gap between “female” and “feminine” is that there are no hard and fast rules to being either one. You do not even have to be both. You can pick just one and run with it or you can try to balance the two. The internal self perception of them does not even have to match outward presentation. It can be quite the circus act.
Some women have a natural balance. They do not encounter anything that makes them question their femininity or the physical condition of being female. They are comfortable in their bodies and at peace with their own self image.
Some women, while thoroughly enjoying being female, have issues with the presentation of femininity that is expected of them. Some say the societal norms that demand women wear skirts, heels and make-up to “fit in” is unjust. They rail against these age-old stereotypes both in their manner of dress and in their refusal to conform to traditional personal and business roles that women were once pigeon-holed into.
On the other side of that coin are the women who want to become the Hollywood ideal of feminine expression. They subscribe to the more classical images of beauty and strive to achieve those benchmarks. They enjoy the pretty clothes, the variety of shoe styles and the artistry that can go into applying make-up.
The common denominator of these very contrasting women is idea that regardless of how they present the image of femininity, being female is the bomb. Should anyone be so unenlightened or ill-fated as to try using their femininity as an excuse to block them from their personal goals, he will not just have that one woman on his neck. He will be the target of a maelstrom of women that would make a swarm of bees seem warm and inviting.
Then there are those whose conflict is not with the presentation of femininity but with the physical being of the female form. Some view being female as a privilege they are denied. Others see it as a curse they cannot escape. These are the people who are on the front lines of the war of womanhood.
They have not achieved the right to equal pay in the workplace because they have not achieved the right to be themselves. They have not reached the hallmarks of admiration of their beauty because of the prejudices that call their very existence ugly. They do not have the right to marry because in some areas they do not even have the right to breath.
As long as I can remember I have felt feminine. As a child I was often accused by other kids of displaying a misplaced girlish appearance or mannerism. Even during the height of my presentation of masculinity as a U.S. Marine my internal pull to all things feminine retained a strong grip on my psyche.
My endeavor to acquire the “female” that matches and balances my “feminine” has been the saving grace of my life. It is a journey I still endure. I know that even when I reach my ultimate goal of having the physical female form I covet, it will be a mere shadow of the femininity that prevails in my heart. When my citizenship to the female world is finally granted, I will still be but an immigrant to the land of which I have always dreamed. There will always be a part of me that is a stranger. There will always be the ties to my origin.
I will revel in it all! No regrets. No sorrow. No apologies.
Blessed Be.
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