The Death of Common Sense, and Others

The Death of Common Sense, and Others
by Raven Usher

The first half of 2004 has seen an unprecedented level of justice being done on behalf of the transgendered community. The trial of Gwen Araujo’s murderers has received national headlines. In Indianapolis, the murderers of Nireah (Gregory) Johnson were sentenced to 120 years in prison. The murder of a transgendered person in St. Petersburg, FL also met with a lengthy jail sentence early this year.

Do not break out the party balloons just yet. These three murder victims have a horrifying similarity. They each could have prevented their own deaths by using a single piece of common sense. It is the death of that common sense that leads to the deaths of many transgenders, not just these three. And it seems that we, the transgenders, are responsible for the murder of this specific portion of common sense.

Allow me to say something about the “self-perception of manhood.” A male’s perception of his own manhood is the single most vulnerable and fragile portion of the male psyche. It can be threatened by a giggle and shattered by feeling. Because of the fragile vulnerability of the perception of manhood, men will defend it at all costs. Sometimes they defend themselves with violence. Sometimes... the cost is murder.

One of the areas in which a straight man’s manhood is exceptionally vulnerable is his sexuality. This is the birthplace of homophobia. For those of you who are not straight men, here is the thought process: “Sexual contact with anyone who is not a woman is proof that the male is not a ‘man.’ So any accidental or inadvertent non-female sexual contact, real or perceived, must be eradicated.” Yes, it is an antiquated notion, but it is still a driving force for the majority of the male gender. It is so prevalent that the history of violence connected to it is infinite. Robin Williams summed it up best years ago in one of his comedy routines, “If we can’t fuck it, we’ll kill it.”

That is exactly what happened to Gwen Araujo. The man she was with could not have sex with her under the conditions his manhood dictated. So he killed her. It happens to scores of transgendered people. As horrifying as that seems, it is much more frightening to think that adhering to a single piece of common sense can prevent it. And yet so many of us do not. Far too many of us actually set the stage for the violence that befalls us.

Transgender Common Sense Point #1: Prior to engaging in any form of intimate physical contact with a man, TELL HIM WHAT YOU ARE!!!!!!

Why is this important? 1) If you do not tell him, you are putting yourself at risk of violence from him. 2) He has the right to know. 3) Fear of exposure is not an excuse since you will be exposed in the midst of the escapade anyway. 4) Deceit is always a bad idea. 5) If you do not have enough self respect to tell someone else what you are, you should not be getting intimately involved with anybody.

The number one reason that transgenders get murdered is because the men they get intimate with do not know they are transgendered until after the fact. The most common reason for non-lethal violence against transgenders is because the men they were with felt that their “sexuality had been threatened.”

How many of us have to be hurt or die before we learn this lesson? Is it our fault that these men hurt us? No. Violence is never an acceptable response to anything.
Are we responsible for the fact that so many allow themselves to get into such a predicament? Yes. We know why this happens, how it happens. And yet, we do far too little to try to put an end to it.

I do not want to even insinuate that a T-girl who is the victim of violence is in any way to blame for the violence committed against her. However, we are all responsible for our own safety. There are more forms of unsafe sex than just bare-backing. Having sex with a man who does not know you have a penis is one of them. All of you transgenders out there, please, do yourselves a favor. If you have not had the surgery, before you go down, fess up . Your life may just depend on it.
Blessed Be.