Criminalizing Marriage

Criminalizing Marriage
by Raven Usher

I am married.

We have been married for fourteen years and knew one another for nine years prior to getting married. Our relationship is old enough to drink. We have three children together, own our home and two cars. I stay at home and raise our children while my spouse maintains a career that supports the family. We are, according to all the statistics, a Norman Rockwell painting of the average American family.

Well, almost. We are an inter-racial couple. I am so overwhelmingly Caucasian that i can cover the dark circles under my eyes with liquid paper. My spouse is visibly identifiable as Hispanic. Two of my three children were born with the Mongolian spots that mark the genetics of Spanish descent. Our right to marry outside the nationality of our births is legally protected against any possible objections from others whose beliefs are different than our own. So we are still an example of proper American marriage.

Well, almost. I am wiccan. I pray to the many Gods of pagan religion. I married someone of the Catholic faith. We have cauldrons and bibles in our house. Eventually, a religious convergence unified our religious beliefs and practices under the dogma of the Cellarian tradition of Wicca. Our right to marry outside of the faith we practiced at the time of our marriage is legally protected against any possible objections from others whose beliefs are different than our own. So we are still an example of proper American marriage.

Well, almost. I am a woman. I am married to a woman. Her name is Michelle. We love each other. We have dedicated our lives to each other. Our marriage has outlasted all the divorce and separation statistics. When we pay our taxes, we file a joint return. Our right to marry the specific individual we love is only legally protected against any possible objections from others whose beliefs are different than our own in certain places.

Our inter-racial marriage is protected by law. Our inter-faith marriage is protected by law. Well, it has been so far. If the protection of our same-sex marriage is allowed to be destroyed by small minded bigoted people, how long will it be before our inter-racial or inter-faith marriage is also condemned?

I keep hearing people say that same-sex marriage will devalue marriage as an institution. That is like saying if my neighbor gets a job that pays the same salary as mine, it will cause my money to decrease in value. It simply is not true.

If Bill and Mary’s marriage can be devalued because Jim and Harold get married too, then Bill and Mary do not have much of a marriage. If George beats up his wife, Jane, that does not mean Mary is in danger of domestic violence from Bill in their own home.

Marriage is a union between two people. No individual marriage can raise or lower the value of marriage in general. If someone thinks it can, they do not have a very optimistic opinion of marriage to begin with. No wonder the divorce rate has been so high among those people. Are you aware that the people who are currently screaming about protecting the sanctity of marriage are the people with the highest divorce rates on record? When is that little tidbit going to come up in a political debate?

This is not a game of poker. No one has to lose. Just because gays are winning civil rights, it does not mean that straights are losing civil rights. That is not the case now any more than it was when Dr Martin Luther King was fighting for the civil rights of people of color. White people did not lose any rights when black people won theirs. Men did not lose the right to vote when women were granted that right. Granting civil rights to one group does not nullify or devalue the rights of the people who already enjoy those rights.

Protect the sanctity of marriage? How about protecting the sanctity of freedom and equality? What about protecting the sanctity of the idea that “All men are created equal” upon which this nation was founded. The documents that created the United States of America say, “liberty and justice for all.” Not just for some.
Blessed Be.